


You Make My Hurt Burn But I Kinda Like It

by lemondriz



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, M/M, Nbin, Smut, set in 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 18:46:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17269085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lemondriz/pseuds/lemondriz
Summary: Hongbin knows that Hakyeon is a butterfly; a beautiful, wild butterfly that can't stay around one flower for too long because the world deserves to experience his beauty, both inside and outside.





	You Make My Hurt Burn But I Kinda Like It

**Author's Note:**

> The cherry-grape conversation is based on the super cute texts from here: https://twitter.com/dearmystars_/status/1018826559153532929?s=09
> 
> Hakyeon saved Hongbin's number as Lee HongB, and as for Hongbin, I like to believe him and Hyuk have this ranking system for their hyungs, as per who is more tolerable than the rest lol.
> 
> Hyuk's number 1 hyung is his partner in crime Hongbin. And I think we all know who Hongbin's is ♥️

One hour. Just one solitary, measly hour. 

Hongbin has exactly one hour to spare today, and it has taken two weeks or so to make sure it aligned with Hakyeon's schedule. 

He wants to feel excited. He wants to feel ecstatic and happy that he'll be meeting his hyung again, properly this time. But then he remembers that they just have an hour and that planning their next encounter will take double the efforts. 

Meeting up for group practice at the Jellyfish building is just not the same, and they both know it. It's getting harder and harder to give each other time; and while Hakyeon is still outwardly reserved and cool about it, Hongbin is growing antsier by the day. Specifically, from the day Hakyeon decided to move out of the shared dorm into a place of his own.

Hongbin eyes his watch steadily throughout the day while on set, breathing deeply to keep the panic attack from developing. He feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest and rip through the perfectly crisp, pearly white shirt he has on for filming. 

He's so on edge that when he receives a text from Hakyeon while he's wrapping up lunch, he almost flings a chopstick into a staff member's eye.

Apologising and bowing profusely, he scrambles to unlock the device.

 **Hyung #1**  
Hey. My place, 11.30 pm. Still on, right?

Hongbin bristles, and when he sends a reply, he feels the twinge of guilt sting his throat.

 **Lee HongB**  
Yeah of course. Why wouldn't we be on? Did you suddenly realise you have other plans again?

 **Hyung #1**  
That was one time, Binnie. Let it go. 

Hongbin doesn't need to see Hakyeon at this moment to know he is dead serious. He sighs heavily and types quickly before shoving his phone in his pocket and getting back to work. 

**Lee HongB**  
See you at 11.25

\---

The day cannot progress fast enough, and while Hongbin is on his way to Hakyeon's apartment, he prides himself on the fact that he refrained from snapping at anyone today. 

He jerks his left knee rhythmically, the quiet of the car so deafening that he can hear the second's hand of his watch tick away. There's a ringing in his ears that he cannot seem to shake.

They finally pull up outside the building, and the manager gives Hongbin a pitying look that has him wanting nothing more than to slink away into the shadows. 

"The company car will be down at 12.30 for you. I'll take the rest of your stuff back to the dorm."

Hongbin flushes and mumbles a quick thanks, then grabs a brown paper bag for Hakyeon and shuffles quickly out.

His ears continue to ring as he moves up in the elevator, even when he reaches up, even when he presses the bell, even when the front door opens and he sees that beautiful, bare, worn face at exactly 11.25 pm.

\---

They sit at opposite ends of the pale blue couch; Hakyeon in his pyjamas, fringe down, face wiped clean, feet curled up on the couch, bunny slippers on the ground below, and Hongbin still in his white shirt and dress pants, white socks, hair gently styled, his cheeks glowing with faint rouge in the dim light of Hakyeon's living room. 

They both clutch at their mugs of steaming green tea and sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds being the occasional sipping, clearing of throats, and the incessant ticking of Hongbin's watch. 

"Thanks for the fruits."

Hongbin pauses mid-sip and his ears perk up. 

"Don't thank me. I just thought you should have a good supply of cherries and grapes since you can't just steal mine, or take half anymore."

Hakyeon laughs a tinkling laugh, and Hongbin's heart swells at the sound. He watches as he tucks away a stray black strand behind his ear and sips slowly from the mug. 

"So, what time do you have to be in tomorrow?" Hongbin asks, clearing his throat roughly. 

"6 am. That means I've got to be up around 4 because the filming location is quite far." Hakyeon says airily, face turned away. 

Hongbin knows that that's why Hakyeon needs to be in bed at a decent hour, especially since he hasn't been keeping too well because of all the running around for work. He knows that this one hour is the best that the both of them can do at the moment. 

That doesn't stop the pestering sting in his throat and annoyance colouring his cheeks. 

"Have you had anyone over since you moved in?" Hongbin asks pointedly, suddenly stiff and uncomfortable in his clothes. He sinks further into the couch and tries to breathe deeply. 

"Taekwoon and Jaehwannie came over a few weeks ago, as you know."

"Well, I obviously meant apart from the members."

Hakyeon turns to look at him, face impassive. 

"Ryeowook hyungie dropped in a while ago. He recently completed his military service, as, again, you would know."

Hongbin maintains the eye contact, forcing a tight smile. 

"Well isn't that just nice of the both of you. Old friends catching up, how cute."

Hakyeon's face immediately drops into a frown. 

"I should have known you would do this."

"Do what? I didn't even say anything!"

Hakyeon laughs, but this time it's short and harsh, and the sound of his disbelief grates at Hongbin's ears. 

"Look. I get it. You're going through a shit couple of weeks. Well so am I, Hongbin, but that doesn't mean I let it ruin what little time I'm able to salvage with you."

Hongbin is exhausted, and the day has gone on far too long, and he hates how aware he is of how badly he's screwing things up. 

"I'm not the one going around being _social_ and comprising my time with someone who means more to me than the rest of them."

In a different scenario, Hakyeon's eyes would have lit up at those last words and he would have pounced happily on an unwilling-yet-willing Hongbin. 

Instead, Hakyeon's eyes burn with muted rage, a warning sign. He presses closer towards Hongbin.

"I don't want to do this today. Not just not today, but not ever. Today was supposed to be for us and now you've gone and made it about how you're the poor, jealous victim."

"Fuck yeah I'm jealous, I'm jealous because all these people get to see you and you live alone and you can do as you please and see whoever you want and everyone else gets to be in your presence and I _don't_."

Hongbin is panting in fury, his awareness of his child-like tantrum ringing louder than ever. Hakyeon just looks at him, the same fire burning behind his eyes. At this point, they've both turned to face each other and Hakyeon has scooted all the way to his side, a hot tension sparking that pushes Hongbin further off the edge. 

"I know its hard for you, hyung" he whispers and closes his eyes, unable to keep looking at him. "I know it took you so much planning and time and effort to make your dream of having your own place come true. But right now? I just hate that you're not the first person I see and touch in the morning, the person I come home to, the person who humours all my teasing and gives it back to me. I hate how far away you feel even though you're inches away from me. I hate what we've become. "

It's silent for a few seconds until Hongbin feels the cool caress of thin fingers over his lips. He opens his eyes slowly to see Hakyeon staring deep into him, a more intense kind of fire burning in his eyes this time.

Hakyeon sags his shoulders, face full of muted empathy. Hongbin feels his heart dislocate when the fingers are replaced by the gentle press of lips against his own. 

Before he can even react or reciprocate, Hakyeon has already pulled away partially. "Binnie baby, let me just take care of you tonight," he whispers, voice like molten honey, and Hongbin feels the tension snap and break when he's pulled back for another kiss. 

He finds himself melting into it and pries open his mouth when nudged. Hakyeon tastes unfairly sweet, and Hongbin moans quietly when he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip. Hakyeon trails his lips over his chin and leaves open-mouthed kisses over one side of his neck. 

"Hyung... Hyung, we should still talk-"

Hakyeon smoothly straddles him and swallows his words with another sinful kiss. The fabric of their pants rub against each other as Hakyeon works his hips slightly, and Hongbin forgets any conversation that they were having previously. He reaches up and sinks his nails on either side of Hakyeon's neck as they deepen the kiss. 

"Mhmm, good boy" Hakyeon purrs between kisses, already making fast work of Hongbin's belt, then quickly undoing the zip of his trousers. 

They pick up the pace and block out everything else, half-drunk green tea cooling on the coffee table, and an unfinished conversation left hanging in the wind, temporarily forgotten, only to be cut through by filthy, unabashed moans and the intermingling scent of colognes sifting by. 

\---

Hongbin goes to the bathroom to clean off and change, and two minutes later finds himself gripping the sink tightly as Hakyeon shows just how he can expertly work his mouth. 

He throws his head back as Hakyeon grazes over the over-sensitive head, and knows at the back of his mind that there are still so many things he wants to say. So many things he wants to do to make things right. 

He releases into Hakyeon's perfect, pliant mouth with a choked cry, and that's when his cell phone alarm for 12.30 am goes off.

\---

It's dead silent on the car journey back to the dorm, the pale moonlight throwing odd shapes on Hongbin's pale skin. The driver doesn't speak, something Hongbin couldn't be more grateful for. He sits back in his seat, eyes heavy with fatigue, white shirt rumpled and creased, hair falling in his eyes, and all he can think about since leaving is Hakyeon's perfect hips and the purple blotches he left on them.

A surge of pride swells through him at the thought and he finally lets himself relax properly for the first time that day. 

In a couple of minutes, Hongbin pulls out his phone. 

**Lee HongB**  
You were so good today holy fuck

It's another couple of minutes till he gets a reply, and he starts to worry if Hakyeon has fallen asleep.

 **Hyung #1**  
Mind your language. And I always am @.@

 **Lee HongB**  
I can't wait to see you again, hyung. Please. 

**Hyung #1**  
Me too, baby, me too. Goodnight.

Hongbin shoves his phone across the backseat and shivers. He thinks of Hakyeon bent over the dining table, taking it so well from a person whose face he can't see. He thinks of Hakyeon cleaning off a cock with his lips, savouring every last drop. He thinks of Hakyeon on top of someone, legs spread obscenely wide and hips buckling for a faceless man that won't ever love him even half as much as Hongbin does.

His pants start to grow tighter, and as soon as the car pulls up to the dorm, he bolts up as fast as he can. 

\---

Much, much later, Hongbin thinks of Hakyeon looking up at him through heavily lidded eyes, and he groans as he buries his face into the pillow. 

As he falls into a fitful sleep, he thinks of how open and pliant Hakyeon can be with anyone, how caring and loving and genuine he can be, and how Hongbin will always have to share the love of his life with someone who will never be worthy of even knowing Hakyeon. 

He knows that Hakyeon is a butterfly; a beautiful, wild butterfly that can't stay around one flower for too long because the world deserves to experience his beauty, both inside and outside. It hurts worse than ever to know that he can't keep him and that there will never be anyone else who could take Hakyeon's place in his life.

\---

It's 4 am and Hongbin snores softly, and doesn't budge when his phone vibrates with a new message.

 **Hyung #1**  
Morning Hongbinnie. Have a good day, I love you.


End file.
